What are core values?

Our core values are the principles that guide our choices and dictate our behavior when discerning right from wrong, forming new relationships, and more. Core values are not about personal or professional goals - what we wish to have and achieve. Rather, they are a set of internal beliefs that dictate how we feel our life should be lived. For this reason, it becomes obvious when a choice falls in or out of alignment with your core values. They relate to our heart's deepest desires for the way we wish to be and act as we walk through this world.

Why Core Values Matter

Knowing your core values helps when you are figuring out how to set healthy boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is about clearly stating what you will do when xyz takes place, not about controlling or changing the behavior of others.

Knowing what is a fuck yes vs a fuck no for you through core values discovery creates a lot of clarity around when and what personal boundaries you wish to uphold.

Values-aligned living is also a huge personal confidence booster - the more you know yourself, the more you are able to live in authentic reflection of that knowing (and it feels really good).

How Core Values work for me

Understanding my core values helped me reframe the way that I think of ‘success’, and released a lot of self-imposed pressure I was putting on myself to engage in paths I met with internal resistance. It allowed me to focus on what really mattered, and design my life, relationships, and career in authentic alignment with my values. 

Each year around my birthday (ahem…cheers to 37 spins), I review my core values as a mindfulness exercise, reminding myself of how and why I live my life the way that I do. This process is empowering and grounding and has made it even easier to say both yes and no to the choices laid out before me. 

This list has changed slightly over time (as it should). Embracing that I am a constantly evolving force on this earth creates a level of mental flexibility that has allowed me to adapt my core values to reflect my own growth and continued learning about what it means to live a fulfilling, wholehearted existence. 

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: My Process

• Always be learning, lean into my drive for knowledge and experience.

• Prioritize the lessons, and release expectations to allow for authentic outcomes. Success is learning, just like balance is flexibility. 

• Stay humble + open, show up for myself enough to recognize the gifts and opportunities presented to me. Be open to receive.

KINDNESS: My Mindset

• Assume the best first -- The world is generally friendly, and I am hopeful in my ability to approach all experiences and interactions with a mindset of kindness. This includes leading with kindness toward others, and myself as well.

SERVICE: My Mode of Operation

• Use my energy and gifts in service of their most positive contribution to the world, people, and myself as possible.

JOY: My State of Being

• Appreciate/see the beauty in my surroundings. Connect with nature.

• Be present + hold that space for others whenever possible.

• Stay curious, and take the time to appreciate the nuances of people, places, and things.

• Accept that there are peaks + valleys, see above the forest + walk among the trees.

FAMILY: My Human Network

• Nothing is more important + everything else serves the strength of, and my capacity to, grow and maintain my human network. 

• Includes my chosen family (biological, chosen, friends, mentors, collaborators, students, influencers on my journey).

How to start defining your core values

There are several ways to go about defining your core values, including many resources available on the interwebs to help you determine what most meaningfully makes it onto your list. 

A certain level of self-awareness is necessary in order to arrive to a place where you are able to identify and articulate your core values with clarity and confidence (ie always be learning…about yourself!). One of the many self-discovery tools that helped me see myself, my behavior and my human interactions in a way that related to creating these values was learning about my character strengths.

You can learn more about your character strengths and how to start working with them by taking the free survey offered on the VIA Institute for Character’s website. Character strengths analysis has become a pivotal piece of my personal puzzle, and I excitedly look forward to sharing more about that learning in future posts.

Are you ready to go on a values-discovery journey of your own now? I hope so!

In sharing my core values with you here, my wish is to light a spark that you can fan into a flame of brilliant self-acceptance, understanding, and love. And remember — no one can do this work for you but you. Culture, religion, and your moral compass will inevitably play into what makes it onto your list, and that is great. The way your list looks might be very different from mine, and that is great, too! Remember, this process is about discovering what values-aligned living means to you (and you are the only one living your life!).

xoxo,

Jay